What To Be Careful About On Your Wedding Day

This is the first guest post by the mother of thedelhibride.

I got married on a summer day in 1987. My husband’s name with mine was lit on the roof of our bungalow in Varanasi. The baraat had made it well on time. I was waiting to be draped in a red sari. I was looking around for my cousins when one of my friends came forward to help me. Wondering where my cousins were, I spotted them  at the other end of the room applying makeup on each others faces. They had forgotten about me and were busy dressing up themselves. I smiled to myself. I remembered doing the same thing at my cousin sister’s wedding not long ago. It didn’t matter to me if my makeup was done with perfection. I just waited for the company of my groom.

The events went by in a flash. Jaimaal, the pheras, and then dinner. Post our meal, we were taken to a well decorated room. My sister-in-law bought kheer to the room and my groom and I were told to feed each other. The room was packed with relatives inside. My parents, uncles, aunts, cousins…and then there was this man standing in front of me on my right. Out of nowhere, my brother decided to respectfully ask him who he was. While he was fumbling to answer “main toh bas…” (I am just…) looking here and there, my brother asked my husband “Is he from your side?” My husband looked at the man with confusion and said “No” as he had presumed he was from the bride’s side. Sensing danger, my brother pushed everyone aside and squarely facing the man, asked him in a louder voice who he was with. The man turned around and started to push himself out of the crowd. He went to the living room, headed out the main door and made a run to the main gate into the darkness. My brother followed him, tried to catch him but he ran out of the gate too fast. It was only after he ran away that realisation hit my brother – the man was inside with the wrong intentions, otherwise why did he make a run for it?

When we realised that this man could have hidden himself somewhere in the room and sprung a surprise on us or on me to take away the jewellery, it sent shivers down our spine. It made all of us realise how it’s important to tell all your friends and family to be absolutely vigilant. Don’t think the gun-totting guards are going to be totally alert. Alertness should come from family members of both sides. Guards will only take orders. Don’t feel shy in questioning the relationship of a person, man or woman, with the couple or with the parents. No need to be hyper-vigilant either – enjoy the wedding. These incidents are rare, but it’s important to know there is scope of such a situation taking place at a wedding. Just keep it in mind.

On a final note, I’m assuming a lot of this blog’s readers are brides to be themselves. To all of you – I hope you have a fun-filled, beautiful and memorable wedding!

6 thoughts

  1. We had a similar problem at my bua’s wedding. This lady tried to enter right at the same time of the barat, but she looked a little shifty, nobody could recognize her.

    Thankfully all the uncles were vigilant and escorted her out before she could cause any damage. What troubled us was that she was dressed in a very nice saree looking like anyone of us. Its scary to thing if no1 had noticed her, what harm could have been cost.


    1. Oh, so I guess it is really important for family to be alert. As long as everyone keeps it in mind, I think we can keep such “unwanted elements” out of our weddings 🙂 thanks for sharing your bua’s story!


  2. Such a meaningful bridal post. So much to learn – especially not hyper reacting like bridezillas when your cousins/friends are busy in themselves. I remember in one of my best friends wedding I was so busy with my hair and make up that I reached 2 mins before the actual wedding. We werent there to help her out at all. I was horrified to face her thinking she would be super mad at us. But like you she too was too excited to see the groom and getting married.

    I like this post also because we get to read a lot about the trousseau, decor, makeup, hairdos and a million other things but very little learnings about such incidents which are likely to happen in weddings.

    Thank you Aunty!!


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