The Indian Groom’s Dilemma – To Propose or Not To Propose?

11 Aug

This one’s for the grooms. Brideys, if you manage to get them to read it, you just might get what you wished for 😉

Boy meets girl. They fall in love. Boy drops on one knee and proposes to the girl. She gives an ecstatic yes! Parents meet for the first time. Wedding takes place. Boy and girl live happily ever after.

And…cut to India. Boy meets girl. They fall in love. They want to get married. Parents meet for the first time. They give an ecstatic yes! Wedding takes place. Boy and girl live happily ever after.

But wait…didn’t we skip something? Ah, yes…the mandatory “Boy drops on one knee and proposes to the girl.”

But, is it really mandatory? In India, not really. It’s something that happens “just in the movies”.

Well, not anymore. There is a small, yet significant group of men who understand the need to provide their soon-to-be-wives with a proposal worthy of an “Awww!” “But, what’s the point?” you ask. Your wedding date has been fixed – “popping the question” is a redundant exercise now. It’s a done deed. The love of your life already knows she’s marrying you, as does every other kaka, mama, tai in the neighbourhood. Why, in the name of God, do you still need to get down on one knee?

Rule #1 for you buddy: Never believe a girl who says she doesn’t want/need to be proposed to.

Now that you’ve accepted the fact, make a decision. You have one of three options:

  • Go the whole hog: Go through the pain to propose to her the way they show it “in the movies” – surprise her. You must be wondering – what ring do I propose with? My family is already getting her a diamond ring for the engagement ceremony! Here’s a unique idea – buy her a Swarovski ring! They’re very reasonable, but still nice enough to propose with. I got this idea from a Peaches & Blush blog post here, where her soon-to-be-husband proposed to her on a hot air balloon with a Swarovski ring that has butterflies on it. (A note for the women reading this – do check out the post for her diamond engagement ring, it’s beautiful! She also gives some great advice on shopping for diamonds there)
  • Compromise aka na idhar ka na udhar ka: If you consider this whole exercise truly redundant and there’s no way that a girl living in Delhi who’s going to get married soon can convince you of it, then atleast on the day of your engagement drop on one knee while you place the ring on her finger. Trust me, she’ll remember it.
  • Do nothing: You refuse to do any of the above, because you feel you don’t need to. You’re marrying her after all, and that should be enough. That’s alright – it’s your life, your decision. But do yourself a favour and buy the book “Chicken Soup for the Indian Bride’s Soul”. Read a story in there called “Popping the Question” – it will help you have a solid answer in place for life…just in case that moment creeps up on you where your wife asks “How come I never got a proposal?” Reading that story will save your a**.

Although I may have made it sound like a really big deal, I didn’t mean to. Proposal or no proposal, the girl you’re marrying will be extremely glad to have the chance to spend her life with the one she loves. We’re not that bad 😉 Here’s to a very happy married life to all you boys, and to that day when realisation dawns on you that it’s best to let your wife atleast think she’s always right!

Note: thedelhibride is neither liable nor responsible for any unrealistic expectations that have been created in the minds of brides after reading this post.


17 Responses to “The Indian Groom’s Dilemma – To Propose or Not To Propose?”

  1. Swati Murti August 11, 2012 at 2:28 pm #

    haha…loved the disclaimer and yes, proposing is just a measure of how much a person esteems their would-be spouses to be and it takes the relationship to a whole new level!!


  2. Bhumika M August 11, 2012 at 2:30 pm #

    Sigh. I always wanted a proposal! Boy always wanted to propose! But as you correctly put it, parents met before that and everything was done! Sigh. I mentioned to boy’s family that I always wanted a proposal. His bua took note of that! On engagement day, Bua did not let boy put ring on my finger till he went down on his knee! Boy happily complied, made everyone keep quiet and made fancy announcement and went down on his knee. Happiest moment of my life!


  3. miss m August 11, 2012 at 2:33 pm #

    lovely post! hehe.


  4. Crazy Indian Bride August 13, 2012 at 6:28 pm #

    haha love the note in the end

    getting boy to read it 😛

    There is a ‘Chicken Soup for the Indian Bride’s Soul’ Seriously!!! I off to buy it!!

    Linking this on my blog hope thats ok!!


    • thedelhibride August 14, 2012 at 12:53 pm #

      Do buy the book, but let me warn you – sit prepared with tissues, I got all teary-eyed while reading most stories! But then again, I have become a big ball of romantic mush recently :p
      And link away, fellow bride! That’s the whole point of the blog! 🙂


      • Crazy Indian Bride August 16, 2012 at 7:02 pm #

        linked 🙂

        still trying to find the book, not available at my local store 😦
        Chicken soups always make you cry!


  5. Crazy Indian Bride August 16, 2012 at 8:01 pm #

    Brought it 😀


    • Aanchal August 20, 2012 at 1:52 am #

      Terrific post.. I guess you have managed to touch the hearts of many brides-to-be with this, the unrealistically rosy expectations are just incidental! 😉
      Would you know of any groom version for the book you suggested, Indian or otherwise? I searched for it in the Chicken Soup series, but damn, the title doesn’t exist, no wonder we need posts like these to throw hints to the boys, sigh!


      • thedelhibride August 20, 2012 at 3:24 pm #

        Unfortunately, I don’t know of such a book! Even if it existed, it would be useless to me though – the fiancé isn’t much of a reader.


  6. thebengalibride December 16, 2012 at 6:33 am #

    lol awesome post!


  7. 2013bride March 12, 2013 at 2:11 pm #

    As I was ardent follower of urs nd kp a track of ur post the boy happen to read this one as even he was in big dellema but after reading this he proposed to me,on new years ….. Poolside with champagne.*blush*thanksssss….;)


    • thedelhibride March 18, 2013 at 4:37 pm #

      Awww! I’m so glad I could help, and you’ve got yourself a smart guy there! Takes advice from girls, and actually does something romantic 🙂



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