Another year wrapped up. Another calendar given to the kabaadi wala. Another set of resolutions in the bin.
Did I start off on a depressing note? Yes, it’s a new year. A new beginning. But I’ve been sulking lately. Feeling uninspired. I’m pretty sure it has to do with being away from work. I’ve been attending a lot weddings and while attending weddings “feels like work” to me, it’s not my REAL work. What I do is – write.
And when I’m not writing, I’m not happy.
I’ve also been spending a lot of time collecting my thoughts, trying to plan – what do I want 2015 to be like? I’m a big believer in “What doesn’t get planned, doesn’t get done.” But I just read through my 2013 recap post and realised – I started 2013 without a plan (inspired by Zen Habits). I didn’t know what I wanted the year to look like, and it turned out to be AMAZING! Not to say 2014 wasn’t great – I travelled a lot, learnt so much at NYU, used a professional photographer for the first time ever, got my best friend married, helped organise my school’s reunion(!), started a new section on the blog (Wedding Guest Style), and ended up writing a couple of posts I will be proud of for a long time to come purely because of the insane amount of effort that went into creating each one! But back in January 2014, I had my year planned out. Well, sort of. And things haven’t gone exactly according to plan. Which is the way of life, I suppose. But I don’t adjust so well to being taken off my planned path by such a distance. You must be wondering – what the hell was so depressing? It’s the small things, really. I didn’t get to write as much as I would’ve liked, which ended up affecting my To-Do List of posts I wanted to publish. I know, I will take 5 years to actually publish everything I want to share with you, and by the time I get there, I will have another 5 years worth of things to talk about. It’s endless. But I didn’t spend enough time writing, and that has ended up making me feel like…this. As the blog grows, my plate gets more full. And suddenly, I don’t have enough time to write. I have to do everything else except write, and it’s time to confess – I’ve found it incredibly hard to keep the balance between writing enough and doing all the other blog related activities. It’s officially too much for one person to handle, and I need more hands on deck. 2015 will be the year of new beginnings.
I’ve also had a hard time figuring out what to prioritize. I want to do a million things, and I don’t know where to start. I begin one, and soon after I’m thinking – argh! I should be doing that other thing too! Patience and focus are my two wishes for myself for the new year, for sure.
No, I’ve still not figured out what I will focus first on in the new year. I’ll try to be better. That’s all I know for sure. The priority list, whether I will even have goals this year – that still remains to be seen. Ah, I’ve gone too philosophical for a wedding blog, haven’t I?
As for feeling uninspired, I’m not sure why it has happened. I’ve never felt uninspired in the almost 3 years I’ve spent writing this blog. But I think it’s because I spent all that time in New York “over inspired” by all the breath-taking sights and satisfying experiences – that suddenly New Delhi seems dull. In Mumbai, I had the Arabian Sea to look at. In New York, just the view from my room was enough to get me going. I need to find my inspiration in New Delhi. Is there a sight so beautiful, or a place so calming – where the words come easily?
Without realizing it, it seems like I have, in fact, found a few generic hopes for 2015:
That I unearth my inspiration in Delhi.
That I find focus and patience.
That I write more. Maybe even a little bit that’s not about weddings? *wink wink*
Don’t hold me accountable for these, I don’t do very well with pressure. Goal, or no goal, I hope 2015 is THE year for you, and for me.